Thoughts from prison

The observations and opinions here are fun not fact. They are from a place far, far away from here, from another time. If you feel that any of this is hitting to close to home, I'm sorry. This is not intended to hurt anyone, but...

WHAT!?

You say you want to get in shape. What did you say? You think you only need to lose 10 pounds, what? You want to drop 20 ponds of fat and put on 20 pounds of muscle, what? You're not fat, you just have a lot of mass, what? No, sorry you're FAT. What? You want to get some hydroxy cut or xynedrine?? Listen, no pills stop you from being fat. "But my man took it." BULL$#&^! You need to do everything right before you even think about supplements. If you think some pill is going to help you, you're #$&^*#@!

Eat 6 small meals a day. Bottom line. The key to looking great is to diet and doing cardio. Not walking... running or jogging 30 minutes or more a day, if you are really fat. What? You're going to do it in a month? BULL$%#@! Have you ever done it before? NO. How do you know you can? And the work out. You have to workout faster and for a shorter amount of time. Not two hours in the gym. How can you train for two hours if you aren't eating right. You need to hit it hard and fast. 16 to 20 sets in one hour. You go, he goes. No bull$@#&^ting, no talking.

Body building is like a flower, you give it some sunshine, some water and fertilizer and it grows. You are a cactus. You stay in the sun way too long. More is not better.

Hey, what the hell was that?? A squat? NO, sorry that's not a squat. What? You squat 405 three times? Are you buggin'? You can't squat 315 for one. No kidding, I don't think you have ever done one rep in your life. That means you're not working out. "But I push the 100s." No, you and your buddy push the 100s. A rep is when you take the weight and lift it up and down BY YOURSELF, with good form. Don't watch other guys, watch yourself. You're not them and you never will be. Full range of muscle, get blood into the muscle. That means when you curl, keep your elbows tucked into your sides and don't rock. If you are going to go to the gym and get under 100s of pounds of weight and risk your life and limb to lie to yourself and do it half assed, you're wasting your time.

You are trying to better yourself to build the perfect beast. Do your reps slow, don't bounce weight off your chest. Don't swing the weight, "cheat curls." Bullshit!! Do the rep right or don't do it at all. Listen, you're going to lift less weight. Well, not really because you're not really lifting anything right now. All you are doing is moving with the momentum. Let me tell you something, the "Rep" is the #$&^*#@ing Holy Grail of weight training. It's everything. Respect it, love it and take your time with it and it will love you back. UP and down, nice and slow and squeeze. Make everyone the one. Don't jerk it. Remember, stop lying to yourself and your partner and do it right. Stop the bullshit, if you can't do 8 reps by yourself, don't do it.

I'm out!!

Pet peeves: Stop "fafin" Fabric flexing – If you're in a sweatshirt why are you flexing in the mirror? (Fabric doesn't flex)

Why is that guy, who works out by himself, has every dumbbell and wants yours too?

Why do guys ask the same question over and over but do the exact opposite? DON'T ASK THAN.

Why do some guys lift year after year, never make any changes and look the same?